WASHINGTON — The U.S. Surgeon General says parents are feeling very, very stressed – and their well-being is an urgent public health issue.
U.S. Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy issued an advisory on parental health and well-being to call Americans attention to the issue and provide recommendations for how it should be addressed.
In the advisory, Vivek said his conversations with parents and caregivers has revealed that "guilt and shame have become pervasive," often leading these caregivers to hide their mental health struggles, perpetuating "a vicious cycle where stress leads to guilt which leads to more stress."
Just how stressed are American parents?
According to the advisory, over the past decade, parents have been consistently more likely to report experiencing high levels of stress compared to other adults. In fact, in 2023, 33% of parents reported high levels of stress in the past month compared to 20% of other adults.
Roughly 41% of parents say that most days, they are so stressed, they can't function. Around 48% say that most days, their stress is completely overwhelming compared to 26% among other adults.
Why are parents so stressed?
Parents and caregivers often face heightened stressors and stressors that are unique to their role in raising children. Those can include financial stress compared to child care costs, which the advisory notes have grown approximately 26% over the past decade; time demands, including work-life balance; children's health and safety; parental isolation and loneliness; and more.
One notable stressor that has increased over time is the impact of technology and social media on parenting. The advisory notes that nearly 70% of parents say parenting is now more difficult than it was 20 years ago, with children's use of technology and social media as the top two reasons why. Parents report being worried about how their children's use of social media could lead to other issues, like depression or anxiety, bullying and lower self-esteem.
The advisory states that, "Parental mental health conditions can have far-reaching and profound implications for children, families as a whole, and for society, including increased health care costs and reduced economic productivity."
U.S. Surgeon General's recommendations to help
Murthy believes that the well-being of parents and caregivers is a "critical and underappreciated public health priority" and that something needs to change to address it. In the advisory, the surgeon general writes that there are important cultural shifts that need to be made to make parenting sustainable and to allow parents and caregivers to thrive in their roles.
One of the four main recommendations outlined in the advisory is treating time spent parenting as just as important as time spent at a paying job.
"Many parents and caregivers feel undervalued for prioritizing parenting over employment – whether that means choosing to be a full-time parent or managing the many work tradeoffs involved in being an employed parent," the advisory states. "We must recognize the importance of parenting and reflect it in how we prioritize resources, design policy, shape work environments, and approach our conversations with parents."
Another recommendation is making sure parents and caregivers know that while they may have the primary responsibility for raising parents, they shouldn't have to do it on their own.
"Raising healthy, educated, and fulfilled children is at the heart of building a strong future. It benefits all of society. And it is a collective responsibility," the advisory states. "Societal support through policies – such as those that invest in the health, education, and safety of children – and community involvement through friendship, practical assistance, and emotional support are vital to the well-being of parents and caregivers and beneficial for children as well."
The third recommendation is to talk openly about the stress and struggles that come with parenting to prevent a cycle that causes even more distress for parents and caregivers.
"Open dialogue about these challenges can combat feelings of shame and guilt and cultivate mutual support. It can also help build the momentum needed to ultimately shift practices and collective expectations to be more consistent with health and well-being," the advisory states.
Finally, the fourth recommendation is to foster a culture of connection among parents to combat loneliness and isolation.
"Creating opportunities for parents and caregivers to come together, share experiences and ideas, and support each other can strengthen parental well-being," the advisory states. "Simply put, caregivers need care, too."
To learn more, check out the surgeon general's full advisory, "Parents Under Pressure."