FORT HOOD — At the world's largest military installation, there are few signs of what happened here five years ago.
"My husband didn't have to come out of his cubicle and try to stop Hasan; but he did it because that's the right thing to do," said Joleen Cahill, widow of Michael Cahill.
For many like her, it's hard to believe it has been five years since November 5, 2009.
"I still haven't gone through his stuff. I still don't have the courage to do it," said Cahill, who is 65. "Ironically, most of the other widows don't either."
Her husband Michael was a physician's assistant at Fort Hood. Witnesses said he was fatally shot as the first person who tried to stop former Army Maj. Nidal Hasan's mass murder.
The religious fanatic killed 12 soldiers that day and wounded 32 others. It was the worst attack on American soil since the September 11, 2001 terror assault.
"We're not going to be defeated by a stupid terrorist attack like this. It's just not possible," said sculptor Troy Kelley.
For the first time since the Fort Hood massacre, Killeen is preparing to permanently honor the fallen. The city has nickeled and dimed its way to build the first public memorial at the city's convention center.
Kelley designed it, and volunteered to mold bronze sculptures for each life lost.
"My concept was: I asked each family to submit the favorite items of each individual," he explained.
Among them, Staff Sgt. Justin DeCrow loved his laptop computer. His widow buried him with the original. Kelley replicated the same make and model computer in bronze.
For Specialist J.D. Hunt, Kelley created a Pantera CD and Nintendo controller, since the young husband enjoyed both.
And Private First Class Francheska Velez was three months pregnant, but still slept with a soft Scooby Doo. It's one of his most emotional designs. In fact, Kelly still gets emotional recalling her final moments.
"Excuse me," he said softly then pausing to collect his emotions. "Francheska's final words were, "My baby! My baby!' It's things like that that really bring it home to me."
Officially, the U.S. Army at Fort Hood isn't commemorating this anniversary. A few years ago, it erected a marker, but there is no public memorial. Families of the fallen did have a say in what happened to the site where the massacre happened in 2009.
In February, the Army demolished the Soldier Readiness Processing Center, but the military quietly saved 200 bricks from the building for families and survivors.
Construction starts Wednesday on Killeen's public memorial. Contractors donated expertise and a lot of supplies, but Kelley and Cahill still need $80,000 to complete it.
"This wasn't just Fort Hood," she said. "This was the entire community. And the community needs to remember."
Thirteen lives were lost that day five years ago.
Countless others were forever changed.
